oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
