She said her name was "party"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
