So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
