Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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