Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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