The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
