If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
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im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
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Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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