So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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