they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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