the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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