Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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