I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
