please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just want nice things and good sex
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
