they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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