your room smells of hookers.
And success
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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