don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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