6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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