we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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