she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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