my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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