I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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