Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
