Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
