her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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