quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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