chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
