I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize