If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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