There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
God, I missed his penis.
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