I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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