What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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