If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
