Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
