shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
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