dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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