And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
