My brain says no but my pants say off.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
