I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The adults are the big ones right?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
