I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Randomize