I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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