i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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