It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
NoShamevember. You game?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
