So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
