redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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