It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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