Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
