you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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