so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
