just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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