belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
