I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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