Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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