Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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