I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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