so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
