roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
